Latest news with #emotional well-being
Forbes
3 days ago
- General
- Forbes
4 Dismissive Phrases To Avoid In Your Relationship, By A Psychologist
One of the best feelings in the world is knowing someone has your back. Every time you go through a rough patch, knowing that you have your partner to depend on may offer you a sense of calm and ease. In fact, the care and support we get in our relationships can also impact our physical and emotional well-being. 'People who experience more supportive relationships have better mental health, higher levels of life satisfaction, and lower rates of morbidity and mortality,' write the researchers of a 2014 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships on the importance of supportive relationships. But sometimes, we might not be in the right headspace or have the presence of mind to give our partners the support they need. We might even lash out or create a wall around ourselves and refuse to let them in. You might recognize this manufactured emotional distance in how you address their bids for support. Here are four dismissive phrases that can push your partner away, even if you don't mean to, and how to rephrase them to protect your love. 1. 'That's Just How Life Is' When we use this statement, we can unintentionally minimize what the other person is feeling. While many life events are out of one's control, your partner is likely looking for support that can help them feel seen and empowered, and this statement only brushes aside the pain of their unique circumstances. 'That's just how life is' implies that their struggle is common, trivial and something to get used to or get over quickly. It doesn't reflect empathy. An important skill in any relationship, according to the Gottman's sound relationship house theory, is 'turning toward bids.' Bids are a partner's attempts at emotional connection. They often include trying to get a partner's attention, interest, affection or emotional support. A 2015 study published in the Journal of Family Psychotherapy also found that couples repaired conflict most effectively when they pre-emptively focused on establishing emotional connection, through expressing understanding and empathy for the other person. So, it's essential to respond to your partner's bids with sensitivity, rather than avoidance. In moments like these, they need your empathy, not a stone-cold picture of what you perceive to be 'reality.' This only makes them feel dismissed and helpless. Instead of giving them a 'reality check,' just be present with them. You could say something along the lines of 'I'm here if you want to talk' or 'Do you want me to just listen, or is there a different way you'd like me to support you?' The most effective relationship interventions work on both reducing conflict negativity and strengthening friendship within love. You can offer constructive solutions to help solve their problems if they ask for it, but don't try that right away. Begin with emotional connection first. 2. 'I Don't Know What You Want Me To Say' Researchers in the 2015 study noted that one common problem men often brought up during couples therapy is that they feel like all the blame is on them. They may use statements like this one if they feel uncomfortable and helpless. This is especially the case if they hear complaints from their partners and feel overwhelmed or defensive, but it can sound cold and disinterested. Instead of the classic 'I don't know what you want me to say' which tends to deflect the blame and responsibility to find solutions onto your partner, you can say: 'I'm not sure how to respond, but I want to understand how you're feeling' or 'I need some time to understand and process your words before we continue.' Additionally, when your partner brings up a problem that you've played a role in, it helps to take responsibility, even partly, and remember that you're on the same team (against the problem) instead of throwing the towel in. 3. 'That's Your Problem, Not Mine' When a partner is struggling, using such phrases might feel like you're just setting boundaries, but they can drive a wedge between you. It can leave your partner feeling isolated in their struggles. While you're not supposed to take on all their problems as your own, it's essential to distinguish between setting boundaries to protect your emotional energy, as opposed to creating emotional walls that shut them out completely. All this does is tell them they're on their own, and that you don't believe that you're a unit. Sometimes, our own hyper-independence can make us push partners way. If you believe you need to solve all your problems on your own, you might expect that your partner should, too. However, consistent emotional support is the foundation of any lasting relationship. You can't show love only when it's convenient, and none of us can go through life completely alone. Instead, you could say 'I know this is affecting you, how can I support you right now?' or 'We'll figure it out together.' It's meant to be the two of you against the problem, not you against your partner. Relationships thrive on teamwork, not separation. 4. 'It's Not A Big Deal' What doesn't matter to you may be a huge deal to your partner. Brushing it off with 'It's not a big deal' can sound dismissive and lacking in empathy. To be a truly supportive partner, you need to start by showing curiosity for their inner world. Learn what's important to them, and why something may hurt them more than it hurts you. Rephrase your dismissive response from 'It's not a big deal' to 'I can see that this is upsetting you. Can you help me understand what you're feeling?' or 'Tell me more about what's going on — I want to understand.' All your partner really needs to feel safe with you is to know you're there for them, that you don't judge them and that you care about how they feel — even if you don't entirely understand it. Becoming more emotionally available to them also begins with becoming more self-aware, and learning why you might push emotional connection away. You can say what feels genuine to you, but you can do it with empathy. Build tolerance toward perspectives other than your own, and you won't just grow as a partner, but as a person. Do you often run from your own emotions? Take this science-backed test to find out: Self-Invalidation Due To Emotion Scale
CNET
30-07-2025
- CNET
I Used AI to Enhance My Personal Journaling. Here's How You Can Use Memairy, Too
Someone recently shared proportional time theory with me: Days feel shorter as you get older because each day represents a smaller fraction of your entire life. I immediately reflected on how summers felt as a child vs. now, or how some periods in my life feel more vivid than others, mostly because of what was going on at the time. But I absolutely believe the mathematical equation between actual time and amount of time lived nudges us to reflect more on our own evolution. Thinking about this was how I ended up finding Memairy, a digital memory diary that uses artificial intelligence to reflect the emotional core of your personal uploads, whether text, photos or videos. AI helps the journaling tool analyze your entries and recognize emotions, sentiment and even the people in your uploads. This helps find emotional patterns and cues, and is automatic, so there's no tagging involved or required. What is Memairy, and how does it use AI? Memairy was founded in 2019 by Jim Chonko as a personal, AI-powered memory and diary service (not to be confused with the productivity tool It was created as a gentle antidote to the performative nature of social media, aiming instead to help people privately reflect on their emotional lives and preserve meaningful videos and pictures. According to Chonko, the goal has always been to "understand, not optimize," using AI to support emotional well-being rather than manipulate it. Memairy uses AI to categorize content and detect objects in photos and videos, much like Google Photos and Apple Intelligence do, but it also uses its pattern recognition capabilities to find tones and themes throughout your uploads and preserve loved ones' life stories. AI supports the product in a few different ways. First, "emotion detection," which sees the AI tool analyze and label your memory with a certain emotion. This applies to anything you write and upload, too. Choko confirmed that while Memairy doesn't give you the ability to manually retag things, by adding a more complete context to the entry, you can better understand and process your emotions. (For anyone curious, this technique is called sentiment analysis, and is often used by businesses to learn customer behavior. Memairy has applied this same technique in a much more intimate, wholesome, setting.) Next, AI uses natural language processing to read your journal entry and extract key indicators, like people, places, events and topics, and transforms it into categorized memories without you having to tag anything. It also can create a timeline of your emotional life to help you spot periods where you were feeling a certain way, and why that may be, with a focus on your evolution over time. This does require you to be consistently uploading, though. Chonko says that "AI thrives when given richer context." For example, Chonko explains that providing detailed journal entries allows the AI's sentiment analysis models to detect and highlight recurring emotional themes and patterns, helping people gain deeper insights into their emotional well-being. These insights stay entirely private. All analysis is done through Memairy's own secure system, with no ads, data sharing or off-platform processing. It's one of the few AI tools that doesn't treat user data as a commodity, which I'd say is rare in today's tech landscape. In short, Memairy applies emotional intelligence mixed with memory recognition while pattern insight works quietly behind the scenes to provide insight on your inner life, all through your private visual journal. How to use Memairy as a shareable digital journal Using Memairy doesn't take much work, and regardless of the subscription model, you can access it for 30 days free. 1. Head to Memairy's website and click Sign Up. You can stay on a free 30-day plan, or upgrade to a plan for $1/month. (I couldn't find a pricing page, but this information was noted on Memairy's FAQs.) 2. Log in and click around -- this space has become your diary. It's private and its AI-enhanced interface will auto-categorize entries and extract key details. There are three entry types: text, photo and video. 3. You can view each entry on a timeline, where you scroll past memories chronologically. Here, AI steps in to help filter by mood, people, places or topics. This automatic categorization helps you by removing the need to manually tag anything. As a reminder, though, you can't manually retag an emotion -- even more important to note if you haven't uploaded much to Memairy. Tags get more accurate the more content there is for it to "read." 4. Next, you can use AI for analysis and visualization to help reflect on trends or experiences over time. This includes object/person detection (let's say, for a family tree) or the emotional tone behind your uploads, like words, images, speech and colors. This is a really cool way to use AI as a creative right hand without generating anything. Instead, it's intuiting your information and reflecting emotional patterns back to you. Another interesting way to access Memairy is through its blog. While it hasn't been updated in a bit, there's some really interesting takes on AI and memory that are worth checking out -- maybe they inspire your memory diary? Should you use Memairy? If you're seeking clarity, emotional depth or simply a private space to process life, Memairy might be exactly what you need. Memairy prides itself on being a free tool that doesn't sell your data, which I can respect and appreciate -- and its functionality is straightforward. While it doesn't sell your data, though, there's always the risk of data breaches happening, so be wary about the personal or private information you feed the AI tool. Chonko also shared what's ahead for Memairy, which may be a reason to try the platform out, or stick around to see how it evolves over time. "I am currently working on a conversational AI-powered personal biographer," he said. This will allow multiple people to share stories of loved ones and create a memoir of that person, even if they're already deceased. I think Memairy is a solid choice for avid journalers who want to have support in tagging and naming what they're working through. I'd offer this as an excellent resource for therapy clients, those processing griefs or even tracking creativity, fertility and mental health cycles. If you're a deeply feeling person, overthinker, introvert or someone who just wants somewhere to put the emotions churning -- and sometimes burning -- inside of you, Memairy gives you that insight and analysis without judgment. Though, like anything else, consistency will be the key for Memairy to actually work. So if that doesn't sound like you, maybe this is a good challenge to start placing your feelings in a digital container and navigate your inner world in order to share it with yourself… and then a private memory diary platform.
